Hey there

Hi

Just Thought I'd Say Hi

:)

reading Kierkegaard

There are times when word's and music move within me and stir up thoughts that I cannot define. I feel deeply, but I don't know what I feel. I feel greatness in me, but not of me and not about me. I think certain music...certain writings stir up the spiritual part of my being. That spiritual sense is the greatness I feel. A reminder that I in my weakness am not alone. It stirs and unsettles me. It pulls my attention inward and yet outward and then leaves me deep in anonymous thoughts.

When I wake up tomorrow, I won't think twice.

I will feel like myself and walk on in the knowledge of the immediate.

The stirrings inside will have settled and all I will have left is my own presence.

(All that I am aware is left, not all that is left)

I hope that someday I can hold on.

I hope someday I can stand in both realms:

physical and spiritual

immediate and eternal

oh the 20s

By the way, I'm not taking about age. well I guess I am. The 1920s. I'm reading, "This Side of Paradise." I think have 10 pages left. (I should probably be finishing it rather than writing).

But I guess I just want to give props to Fitzgerald. I'm pretty sure his writing was merely a reflection of his life, but reading it helped me see my own life with a little clarity and a new perspective. It's 2009. It's definitely not the "roaring 20s" anymore, but history repeats itself.

If you haven't read it, I'll try not to spoil it for you. Just this: the book follows the life of a certain Amory Blaine. The reader is eyewitness to his vanity, pride, and youthful romanticism. Blaine goes to college, reads books, is swayed by idealism, cynicism, philosophy, graduates and loses himself in a cycle of ....well life. Frankly, it wasn't too different then what most college students go through today. (only the details change). I was reminded how easily it is to get caught up in the moment: in an ideal, in the social life, in a campaign, a philosophy...anything really. I'm not saying this is bad, I just hope that when I am caught up my eyes are open.